I checked your page and I think you shouldn’t lose self-confidence over such a comment! It’s pretty straight-forward, the rewards are top-notch in my opinion: nicely paced for the money investment and really attractive. I watched your presentation video and I think it’s good. The only point I think might be a bit confusing is that you mention making comics first, which first got me to wonder a second “is this for a game or a webcomic” for a short while. I got the explanation after, but maybe if you instead said something like:
“I’ve been a comic artist since [year xxxx], but I now wish to expand my universe into a game as well. To reassure my readers: no, I’m not going to stop making comics! But making a game is a lot more work, and I’d like to be able to hire help to speed up the process, which is why I’ve started this Patreon. Additionally, this is also a good opportunity for my readers to support me and my comics.”
Maybe it would be a little bit clearer.
For the part about the New World Order, maybe you could show on the screen an organigramme with the names of the three organizations, and maybe their logo/symbol if they have one. It’s not mandatory, really, but I guess it can be a nice addition to the video.
I would also put the link to your site right under the video as well.
One last thing to remember is that some people are really… really dumb. You can put a huge button that says “click here to do the thing” and they’ll still ask "how do I do the thing? where is button? what is life?"
All we can do with those is to gently take their hand and take them on a personal little tour. I think that it’s just what some people just want: a bit of dedicated attention. Usually they’re very grateful for it. Sometimes it encourages them to try more on their own, sometimes not
About your rewards, while $15 might seem like way enough to pay off a poster, I’d suggest you to make it into a community goal (ie: “and if we reach xxx$/month, you get a poster”). Posters tend to be difficult and hard/costly to ship because you need a cardboard tube to roll them in an protect them, and those are expensive as hell, take a lot of storage space, and cost a lot more for shipping (even though Sweden does have very cheap shipping prices compared to other countries).
I’d personally suggest you to print stickers, keychains/acrylic charms or buttons, as they are a lot easier to ship.
Finally, your story sounds like it’s set right now, in our world! xD With only a sliiight exaggeration It does make me think of my first webcomic series, so I’m going to check it out! – I saw you posted on Tapastic as well, but I’d recommend you to post page per page instead of in bunk, due to how the site algorithms work. It’s hard to get seen if you just post as a one-shot, ongoing series are a lot more likely to get seen. If you don’t want to log in there too often, you can schedule posts though