Sorry you have to deal with that. I’ve only had to deal with this sort of thing a bit, but it was highly stressful. It was never romantic, but it was uncomfortably persistent and overstepped my boundaries. In the most stressful instance, I let a patron get too close in terms of what he labeled “friendship” but felt more like a quid pro quo.
He was the person who first suggested I try Patreon. He started supporting in my second month. For a long time as I built an audience, I felt like that $10 pledge would make or break me. He upped his pledge to $50 one month when I was in need, and then I felt really indebted, but that was also when it started to be clear to me that his generosity had strings attached, and he expected more than the reward stated in my campaign. (again not romantically, but in other ways.) He dropped back to $10 after two months; the vast majority of my $50 patrons stay for 6+ months because they understand the reward is labor intensive.
The relationship was high key stressing me out. I gradually stopped engaging. He gradually got interested in other creators and lost interest in my work. After a long time, he reduced his pledge to $2, the finally dropped it entirely. He was one of an extreme minority of patrons who stated in their exit survey that they lost interest in my project in its entirety.
But man, I can’t tell you how relieved I felt once he canceled his pledge. It was a weight lifted. I knew I didn’t owe him anything anymore. He was neither a patron nor a fan at that point. It’s been close to a year and I don’t regret it a bit.
That’s the tricky part - I believe that all my patrons are owed my time and attention, so even if I don’t want their attention, I still feel I have to reciprocate. But when it starts to wear on you to a high enough degree, it’s not worth the cost. Losing a pledge from a creepy or pushy fan will not break you, and you do not owe your patrons anything that isn’t explicitly stated in your campaign and rewards.
It’s a good idea to set boundaries upfront whenever you can - for example, by inviting people to contact you only with questions specifically about your campaign or Patreon. And if someone tries to get closer than you want, reply with “I don’t get into personal matters on Patreon, but if you have any questions about [rewards/goals/schedule, etc.], I’m happy to help.” And if they still push, ghost them or block them or whatever makes you feel safe. I’m at the point where I no longer feel guilty doing that. It took a lot of time to get there.