First off, congrats on having an excellent problem.
But seriously, I feel you. It sounds like you are needing to set some boundaries. Making yourself accessible 24/7 isn’t in your long-term interest and that means it’s not in the interest of those that are invested in your well-being. Keep that in mind when you choose to push people away. Here’s where I come down on things.
1. Comments sections aren’t worth it. Communities are born in places where communication can be mutual. Any format that doesn’t encourage people to talk among themselves isn’t a place where you should be fostering interaction. SOLUTION: Don’t commit to reading to replying to social media posts on any platform unless there is something actionable (ie customer service needs).
2. Promote specific times and locations for social interaction. Livestreams and Discord hangouts are excellent. Make it easy for people to be notified when these things are happening and schedule them in advance. That gives you clear air to exist as a creator rather than a community moderator.
3. Hire moderators! Promote your trusted super fans to clear out bad actors from Facebook groups, Subreddits and Discord channels. This should never ever be your job. That being said, stay in contact with the people who do this work for you and cherish them whenever possible.
4. Schedule and/or delegate social media posts. Posting in real-time benefits no one. You should be banking your content and releasing it using automation tools in order to release the burden of posting from your daily schedule. It should be a weekly or monthly chore rather than an hourly one.
5. Reduce your number of inboxes. You can use a combination of automation and good messaging to ensure that the vast majority of communication only hits a couple of possible inboxes. That will make it much easier to batch the important messages and respond to them with the time they deserve. I counted up mind once and discovered I had over 30. Email is good. Manage it well and make sure that all communication that requires a reply references places where people can email you.
6. Respect is a two-way street. It’s a sad truth, but some people’s primary goal is to waste your time. They don’t love you, they aren’t valuable to you and they don’t wish you well. Ignore or delete 100% of messages that seek to bother, or steal from you. Is a needy stranger asking you about something you are only half interested in? Just delete the message without response. Leaving people on read is no a crime and you will not be arrested.
The main point is that it’s necessary to control when, who, and how you communicate with a fanbase online. Without rules and restrictions, you are forced to either sacrifice your work, your health, and the healthiest relationships you have online.
Hope this helps!