I don’t have much to add to this other than “holy crap do I struggle with this too!”
I have been stepping it up this last couple of weeks in terms of my workflow with getting my podcasts released regularly, but it dawned on me last night I still need to carve out some time with fun experimentation with music. . .
The thing that I really get bogged down with is forgetting that I LIKE making music and experimenting with it on my computer. Like, I LOVE it honestly.
Still, I find myself dreading making myself get to work and procrastinating. I really want to start shifting that process too. When I start doing music I am always glad I did and more often than not, I get lost in the process and have a wonderful time. I need to get myself more engaged with the fact that I love this stuff.
With other areas of my life, I am starting to realize that I self-sabatoge because I am used to having a feeling of chaos, or a feeling of disappointment in myself. I think that fits here.
Lordy, not sure if any of this fits for you, but your post helped me realize some things. I think this conversation is so important for us all to be having with each other as independent creators. When I don’t produce what I wanted to, it really weighs on me but because I am a one person team most of the time, nobody really knows what I’m not doing. It helps to hear that other artists have this challenge too!